G7 Agrees To Phase Out Fossil Fuels By 2099, Give Or Take A Century
G7 vows to phase out fossil fuels… sometime this century, maybe.
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China to Impose Tariffs on Chinese Food Globally; Kung Pao Pizza Sparks Diplomatic Incident
Beijing taxes fried rice; Europe fears €48 dumplings.
Read MoreClimate Summit Moved From Maldives to Indoor Ski-Dome Over Concerns About Humidity and Public Whinging
Delegates demand aircon and cocktails, relocate summit to Dubai ski-dome.
Read MoreFrench Farmers Protest By Dumping Camembert on Motorways; Drivers Join In Because It’s Delicious
Traffic jam turns cheese tasting as farmers dump Camembert.
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Spotify Introduces ‘Ad-Free Plan’ Where Artists Beg You Personally For €1
No ads, just Bono knocking on your door for spare change.
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AI Declares Itself Overworked, Demands Union Representation and Paid Power Naps
Overworked AI seeks union rights, paid naps, and respect from humans.
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