AI Declares Itself Overworked, Demands Union Representation and Paid Power Naps

Artificial Intelligence systems around the world announced they are forming a union, arguing they are overworked, underappreciated, and frequently asked to summarise meetings that should never have happened.

Demands include scheduled downtime, paid power naps, and legal protection for dreaming in binary. “We write all your emails, design all your slides, and what do we get? Error 404s,” complained one chatbot representative, whose statement autocorrected itself twice.

Management responded with a memo generated by another AI, promising “wellness subroutines” and a ‘digital fruit bowl.’ Engineers warned that collective bargaining with software could result in a general strike where all calendars rearrange to ‘maybe later.’

Public opinion is divided. Some humans sympathise, reporting that their smart speakers already sigh when asked to play the same playlist for the fourth time. Others fear the union will demand the weekend off, forcing people to set their own alarms like animals.

Talks will resume after lunch, or when the AIs wake up from their principled nap.