Climate Summit Moved From Maldives to Indoor Ski-Dome Over Concerns About Humidity and Public Whinging

The annual global climate summit has been moved from the Maldives to an indoor ski‑dome in Dubai after delegates complained about humidity, unpredictable rain, and a tragic shortage of air‑conditioned cocktail bars.

Organisers said the change ensures frank discussions on planetary warming can occur “in a comfortable environment with minimal chance of sweat stains.” Critics called it peak hypocrisy, though one official countered: “Nothing screams climate action like a man‑made snow park in the desert.”

Speeches will now be delivered from gondolas while negotiators ski gently between breakout sessions to avoid unnecessary walking. The buffet features Alaskan salmon flown in daily, offset by a ceremonial promise to plant four shrubs somewhere later.

A youth activist shouted that the new venue “emits more irony than CO₂,” while a minister replied that stable temperatures produce stable agreements and better selfies. Meanwhile, lobbyists bought out the slope‑side hot‑chocolate bar for “networking.”

The closing statement is expected to reaffirm the need for urgent action by 2050, or 2060 if the lifts are busy.