Ryanair Announces Standing-Room Flights; Passengers Can Upgrade to Kneeling for €9.99

Ryanair has unveiled plans for standing‑room‑only flights, promising to cut costs while testing passengers’ calf strength. For comfort, a €9.99 ‘kneeling upgrade’ will be offered, including access to the Aisle Lean™ handle and priority wobbling.

CEO Michael O’Leary defended the move: “If cows can stand for hours, so can our passengers. Also, cows don’t complain on TripAdvisor.” Safety regulators muttered something about seatbelts, but Ryanair insists Velcro straps and ‘mind over matter’ will suffice.

The airline will trial new boarding groups: ‘Sprinters,’ ‘Medium Joggers,’ and ‘People Still Untangling Headphones.’ Complimentary oxygen remains free, but exhaling may incur a small environmental surcharge.

Passengers expressed mixed feelings. One frequent flyer said standing would be fine “as long as the plane lands in the same country as the ticket.” Another worried the kneeling upgrade might become mandatory during turbulence, weddings, or unexpected Ryanair announcements.

Ryanair also teased a ‘lying flat’ option — available only after landing, while waiting for stairs.