Conor McGregor Withdraws from Áras Race, Declares He’s Spent Enough Time in Politics — Wants to Return to Punching Stuff

Ireland’s most flamboyant UFC export, Conor McGregor, has officially withdrawn from his short‑lived presidential candidacy, insisting that politics was “too calm and respectful” for his liking.

“I thought the debates were going to be octagons,” McGregor confessed at a hastily arranged press conference outside a gym that looked suspiciously like a nightclub. “Turns out it’s just lads in suits whispering about housing policy. Nobody even threw a chair.”

The decision left voters torn between disappointment and relief. “I wanted him to fix the health service,” one supporter said, “but also, I didn’t want him suplexing Micheál Martin live on RTÉ.” A different voter admitted he backed McGregor purely to see if the presidential car could do donuts on the Áras lawn.

McGregor has since promised to “re‑focus on the fight game” — although his last official fight was back when TikTok was still about dancing. Insiders say his immediate training plan involves shouting at microphones, punching rumours of retirement, and shadow‑boxing the national mood.

Political strategists sighed with relief. “Honestly,” one campaign worker said, “we only signed up for the free whiskey samples.” A rival candidate admitted the withdrawal saved them thousands on reinforced podiums. As for McGregor’s presidential manifesto, it will be recycled into a workout plan called ‘Make Ireland Swole Again.’