Ryanair has unveiled plans for standing\u2011room\u2011only flights, promising to cut costs while testing passengers\u2019 calf strength. For comfort, a \u20ac9.99 \u2018kneeling upgrade\u2019 will be offered, including access to the Aisle Lean\u2122 handle and priority wobbling.<\/p>\n
CEO Michael O\u2019Leary defended the move: \u201cIf cows can stand for hours, so can our passengers. Also, cows don\u2019t complain on TripAdvisor.\u201d Safety regulators muttered something about seatbelts, but Ryanair insists Velcro straps and \u2018mind over matter\u2019 will suffice.<\/p>\n
The airline will trial new boarding groups: \u2018Sprinters,\u2019 \u2018Medium Joggers,\u2019 and \u2018People Still Untangling Headphones.\u2019 Complimentary oxygen remains free, but exhaling may incur a small environmental surcharge.<\/p>\n
Passengers expressed mixed feelings. One frequent flyer said standing would be fine \u201cas long as the plane lands in the same country as the ticket.\u201d Another worried the kneeling upgrade might become mandatory during turbulence, weddings, or unexpected Ryanair announcements.<\/p>\n
Ryanair also teased a \u2018lying flat\u2019 option \u2014 available only after landing, while waiting for stairs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Ryanair\u2019s latest money-making scheme: standing tickets with kneeling upgrade.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"colormag_page_layout":"default_layout","footnotes":""},"categories":[112,93,113],"tags":[130,134,141,108,126,154],"class_list":["post-10043","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ireland","category-satire","category-transport","tag-airlines","tag-budget-travel","tag-fees","tag-humor","tag-ryanair","tag-standing-room"],"yoast_head":"\n